I Spy Barber's Back-step And Costello Dancing As Fast As He Can
Sydney Morning Herald
Friday August 30, 1996
INFORMATION just in says the entire Manning Clark Commie Spy business was a story planted in The Courier Mail by the Seven Network to try to take the heat off Tony Barber and Wheel of Fortune.
It's difficult to believe that the dumping of one very boring daytime game-show host in favour of a not quite so boring game-show host has caused such a brouhaha. Late last week, before Seven cooked up the Clark story, it seemed that Barbs and the new, tilted Wheel might well bring the entire network down. Is there really so little going on at the moment?
But the public seems to have been united by the Save Baby John cause, even though his great skill - as explained by Roy Slaven on Club Buggery - was being so bland you could sleep through everything between "hello there" and "goodbye everybody". I'll go on record again here as saying I love Tony's wheel work and won't stand by while his career is destroyed yet again. It still hurts to say Gypsy and it hurts to watch Tony in new rehearsal techniques for Wheel that involve his wearing a gag and having his hands tied behind his back.
Meanwhile, as tough-nosed political journalist Kerri-Anne Kennerley managed to get the People's Treasurer dancing, Boris Yeltsin-style, around the Midday studio and looking almost human (Nine, Tuesday), it was good to know that another show promised to take us down the road Peter Costello and friends followed to reach such a lofty position.
Media Rules (SBS, Tuesday) delivered fully on its promise ... clearly there were no politicians involved in the production team. It was a view of the election campaign seen by few ... probably still seen by few, since this terrific documentary from Liz Jakobowski and Andy Nehl struggled to draw viewers from the decent drama of Blue Heelers on Seven and the comedy of Melrose Place on Ten. Incidentally, with Kimberley turning bad yet again and threatening to take her wig off, Melrose has become almost watchable ... but that's a cesspool into which we won't venture today. Billy's not getting any better though, is he?
But back to politicians. While it was great to examine the Australian campaign in a new light, it has also been edifying to have the giant television eye cast over the set-up for the US presidential race. The Republican Convention was a television event more overstated and frothy than an episode of Gladiators. It was shallower than a social tennis player's second serve. Just like the balloons that looked so pretty on the box, it was all wind and no substance.
Thousands of journalists cover these events, as we prepare to be equally bombarded with American Dream quotes at the Democratic bunfight. What is the American dream? To see Baywatch axed? Americans seem to have that wonderful ability to get up and deliver stirring, rallying speeches that flutter the flags in the audience's hearts. Of course, for the Republicans it was the likes of General Colin Powell talking about the broad-minded, all-inclusive party that could accept a variety of attitudes, even shocking ones such as pro-choice for women on abortion. The party could accept that people have those attitudes ... so long as they kept them to themselves and realised they would not be part of the ultra-conservative platform Bob Dole will take to the polls.
The media pack carted around the country during the Australian election campaign was minuscule in comparison. But Media Rules showed us a pretty interesting, diverse and determined bunch of people. It's a classic piece of television for any political animal. Jakobowski and Nehl chose well with their journalistic talent, with the nicely varied viewpoints and styles of Triple J's Sarah MacDonald, the Financial Review's Tom Burton, the Herald's Margo Kingston and SBS's Alan Sunderland.
While Kingston was having not so much a bad-hair day as a bad-hair campaign, the film-makers took the canny approach of getting in ultra close to her to let the passion burn through from beneath the rakish fringe. They stepped further back for Sarah Mac, who buzzed around like the kid at the party with one too many fizzy red drinks under her belt. None of those featured, though, could match Tom Burton for cynicism. Not in a bitter sense, just an "I can't believe you're trying this" way. The moments where the cameras and microphones picked up Burton or Sunderland and their colleagues talking about one of the staged events as John Howard or Paul Keating arrived at the kindergarten/Mambo shop were beautiful. It was the stumpcam of election coverage.
It would be a coup to have a Tom Burton figure hooked up with a radio mike for regular television political stories. He could deliver the dry one-liner, snorting at the lunacy of the political landscape in a conspiratorial way with his audience before returning to the pack to engage the Prime Minister in debate. He could be the media equivalent of Ian Richardson's Francis Urquhart from The Final Cut (ABC, Friday).
"I may very well say that, viewers, but he couldn't possibly comment."
SATURDAY PICK The Simpsons, Ten, 6.30 pm: Discussion continues to rage about the merit of this and other modern programs. Doubt should be cleared up tonight, since the show offers us the family-positive story of Homer and Bart bonding to work together for a common cause. The cause is to trash the house and belongings of ex-president George Bush, who has moved in across the street. What could be more uplifting? Children should be forced to watch this show. Parents should be forced to watch as well. When it's over, they could talk! Radical, or what? AFL, Seven, 7.30 pm: Finally, the Swans go prime time. Will lame bird Tony Lockett kick the team to victory over the West Coast, to the sound of bone scraping on bone as his bung knee flaps hopelessly around his ankles? T. S.
SUNDAY PICK Dreams Can Come True, Ten, 6.30 pm: Well, they certainly did for the Howzat man, Daryl Braithwaite, who's suddenly got a gig on telly. Who'd have thought when Dazza was belting out "Has anybody seen old Sid around" all those years ago that he'd now be in a position to turn dreams into reality? This is a guaranteed weepy, with all manner of people enjoying uplifting moments. The Thorn Birds - The Missing Years, Nine, 8.30 pm: Must be honest and tell you that I haven't watched this one. Life's too short. All the mail has been bad and the novel's author, Colleen McCullough. has rubbished the project, claiming she had no missing years. But judge for yourselves as Simon Westaway and Amanda Donohoe ramble about in the Queensland sunshine. T. S.
© 1996 Sydney Morning Herald